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Antonio Banderas: Oh no! He's a friggin' Neanderthal man! Actually uncovered from deep within an obscure frozen cave in northeastern Europe in 1971, this ancient troglodyte was defrosted and reanimated by a team of female scientist cheerleaders from Oxford University. 'Tony' took on the role of a modern day Rudolph Valentino after it was discovered he possessed a mysterious animal magnetism that women of all ages and creeds found strangely irresistible. To this day, he refuses to use eating utensils while dining.
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