While making your nightly rounds in the local graveyard, you accidently disturbed the resting place of a recently deceased town drunk. Hungry and grumpy, it arose from the depths in search of some fresh brains and a strong bloody mary. When it began gnawing on your sweet oily scalp, you had no choice but to introduce its putrid unravelling flesh to a good old-fashioned pummelling.

The moral of this story is: "He who dies and rots away, lives to rot another day." And here's a tip: Do not operate heavy machinery while drinking or dead.